87ba24d4618028b7e2ba6b60579cb700This topic is near and dear to my heart. I have many friends and clients who are clinging to people who have made it painfully clear by their words and actions that they no longer want anything to do with them. First the shock sets in, then the denial.  "This isn’t like them, they were never like this before, they are having a mid-life crisis, he used to be so good to me, he can’t really do this to the children, he will change his mind"…these are the things we wrestle with in our souls as we come to grips with someone walking away from us. Something I say every week that is sad but true: by the time a man leaves you, he’s been thinking about it for a very long time. When a man is done, he’s done. Very, very rarely do they change their minds. You are welcome to stay and pray for as long as you need to, but the Holy Spirit will nudge you along to acceptance. However, misery will set in as you go against the Holy Spirit’s leading. Don’t rebel and ignore that still small voice; you know what you need to do. Embrace your freedom from their oppression! I HATE divorce just as God hates divorce, but our spouses have free will, and neither you nor God can control their decisions.


When a man is done, he’s done.


Last Tuesday in the support group I lead called RESTORE (see valeriedeancoaching.com for details), a woman wrestled with going forward with a divorce that she did not want nor initiate to a man who has been with another woman for 3 years. I posed this question: Why would you want to cling to someone who threw you away like trash, who continues to hurt you and treat you worse than a dog? Don’t you know you’re the daughter of the King of Kings and you deserve the very best?!!! Do you think God is happy that you are clinging to a man of this character rather than letting him go and trusting Him to take care of you and RESTORE your life? (“I will RESTORE to you the years that the locust has eaten” says the Lord. Joel 2:25.) The sooner you let them go and accept your new reality, the sooner you will be RESTORED. I praise God this woman heard me, really heard me, and made a major strive forward in her situation the very next day.  Don't delay your destiny!

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